


I Guess You Could Say I'm Hopelessly In Love

by sevenplaines



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, but is it really unrequited?, cursing, jean being an ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 05:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1416439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenplaines/pseuds/sevenplaines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco looking back on Jean's mixed signals, too infatuated to move on. </p>
<p>Just a little drabble to explore Marco's POV on a confusing Jean. There is no happy endings in SNK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Guess You Could Say I'm Hopelessly In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetaed drabble to cure my sads is all.

Jean and I were inseparable, we were partners in sparring, bunkmates, I was always there to calm him down in his fits of anger. He was overdramatic but I never minded… I was blinded by my infatuation with him. And he, he basked in it. The lingering touches, the eye contact that lasted a second too long, the smile I used to think was all for me.  
Blinded. 

I started noticing once we graduated, the top ten dispersed when we were dismissed, everyone going to the local tavern to celebrate. He sat alone nursing his half drunken stein of beer with a confident look on his face, though I knew better, he was lonely. A feeling I could empathize with. So upon seeing him I politely excused myself from a tipsy Connie leaning against Sasha and walked over to my best friend and sat beside him with my best smile, one just for him that carried to my eyes. “Hey number six,” I shoved him playfully and his face finally cracked into a grin “Why are you over here all alone?” 

Jean would sigh dreamily, the same way he did when he talked about us joining the military police “Just admiring the view.” He purred, eyes trained ahead of him. I followed his gaze to none other than Mikasa Ackerman, number one in our class and swallowed the lump in my throat He had a tiny crush on her when we first started training; I had brushed it off when he first winked at me, thinking it was just a passing thing. But apparently I was wrong. I mean, he can find other people attractive right? It’s not like we were boyfriends or anything like Reiner and Bertholt, Maybe I was reading it wrong. But I simply laughed and took another sip from my stein “Mikasa? C’mon, I thought you were over that.” 

“Heh, not easy to get over a girl like her.” He replied as he rested his chin on the heel of his palm, amber eyes on her but unfocused in the way that one in a daydream would be, looking, but not seeing, off somewhere else. My heart sank at this and that night I drunk till I threw up.  
And Jean was off somewhere else. 

\--- 

The second time I noticed him drifting away was when we were alone refilling our gas tanks in the barracks. Jean shakily hooking up the hose to the nozzle of his can, breathing ragged and his eyes panicked. I too was in a similar state on the inside, shaken by the carnage I had only heard in stories until that day. “Jean it’s okay.” I murmured, “None of us were prepared for this” I rested a hand on his shoulder with he immediately shrugged off. “Just shut the fuck up Marco.” He grumbled, his words making me wince. 

\---

Jean is distant now, certainly not the kid I met our first day of training. His eyes are harder, his words sharper, his aura, unapproachable. But for some reason I’m still by his side, getting ready for our retaking of Trost. With the new development of Eren being a titan we now have the means of plugging the hole created by the second Colossal Titan attack. I’m scared, terrified really, but Jean… Jean is ready, I admire that. I admire him. His charms, the way he keeps me reeled in even when he is so harsh, how he hates that I am barely an inch taller than him. But I keep it to myself. 

I keep the infatuation I have inside beca-

“Hey Marco,” His voice is right at my ear, I can even feel his breath ghosting my skin that makes the goosebumps rise. I turn, pulling my jacket, “Yeah Jean?” He is right there, just inches from my face and it takes everything in me not to kiss him, because even through all his mixed signals and harsh words, I’m still head over heels.  
He diverts his gaze a little and then turns, “Never mind, I’ll tell you when we get back” Jean pulls on his jacket as well and checks his gear one last time before walking out to the landing with me. We look up to the sky together, overcast and somber, just like our moods. “Shit it looks like a nasty storm will come in tonight” I nod, “hopefully this mission will be over by then? Then tomorrow we can head to the inner walls as part of the Military Police!” He smirks at my words and nods in return, “Yeah, if we don’t get eaten by titans first.”

A silence falls between us and a sudden dread fills my chest, like this will be the last time I see him. This feeling consumes me for a moment and I see the spark of concern in his eyes. But it is gone the second his gaze diverts just over my shoulder “Oh shit there’s Mikasa.” He walks past me and places a hand on my shoulder “Don’t get eaten or anything, remember, I got shit to tell you later.” He smiles that smile of his and winks before hurrying towards Eren’s group, no doubt to flirt with miss hell on 3DMG, my heart aching in his wake.

I guess you could say I'm alone and hopelessly in love.


End file.
